Public-private is one of the tensions that arises when people go online.
We've all heard the tales of bad things happening because someone's online post got more attention than they anticipated. Bad things can vary from experiencing personal discomfort to losing a job or a friend to getting arrested. Many of us live in fear of these bad things, and construct personal rules against sharing personal things online. Sometimes we even judge others who share personal things online, or overshare.
But what's personal? And what's oversharing?
We can all probably point to and agree that certain things would be personal and oversharing, but there are others where we wouldn't agree. And also, context might mean a lot, too.
My definition of personal has changed over time, and it doesn't align with what others consider personal.
For example, I have colleagues who never share about their families, online or otherwise. Me? Well, my husband is on the faculty and that's no secret. I decided when I had a child that I would not keep her hidden because I wanted to prove a point: women can be active moms AND successful faculty members at research universities. [Common wisdom in generations past was that you were careful to not perform motherhood at work, lest you be "mommy-tracked" on the job.] I share that they exist, and what they do (my daughter will perform in the ballet in 2 weeks! and graduates from middle school tomorrow!), but there are limits. I see other moms post their kids' grades online. That's not my thing, and my daughter would not appreciate it if I did. I save those brags for the family group chat.
Alternatively, I have colleagues and see plenty of faculty who post online about political and religious issues. Me? Nope. Not going there. I don't mind seeing what they post, and it's not that I don't have beliefs (I most certainly do!), but I tend to keep my beliefs and any actions related to them away from the workplace, which also means keeping them out of highly public and searchable spaces. Why? Well, let's take politics as an example. Even during less politically charged times than the one we live in now I see how people judge each other for their beliefs, and I want to try to keep that out of most of my everyday interactions. (I save political arguments for phone conversations with a few family members, and in my upbringing religion was always considered a personal topic.)
I've been told by people that they find me to be very open online and in person, and not at all private, and it makes me chuckle. I think I'm a very private person. My husband would agree. I share parts of my person and persona that I'm comfortable sharing, and I am genuine when I share in that way. However, there are so many things that I consider personal and simply will not share. So, don't think that just because I share my delight at finding a childhood photo (and share that photo), or comment on a book that was personally meaningful that I'm necessarily sharing personal things. And I may share with you all of my deep thoughts about food and cooking, but none of them about health and fitness (eh, but I may share the odd photo or post of a fun physical activity like kayaking or cycling). If I post it online, then I don't really consider it personal. Not EVEN when I post online in my more private spaces -- e.g., for me Twitter is public, but Facebook is, well, a more (but not fully) private place where I share about non-professional topics so it looks personal, but really it's not. Also, over the years I've learned to write in a style that feels more personal, without necessarily sharing information that is more personal. Yup, voice matters.
As a reminder, in this class I never expect you to post things that you find personal (and several of you commented about having concerns in that area). If you want to share, you always may do so, but you don't have to. And as you read what each other posts, remember that what's personal to one person may not be to another person.
So, are there any topics you feel are personal that others seem to not find personal, or vice versa? (only answer if you don't feel that is too personal of a question)