I’m just returning from the Festival of Learning, a meeting of 3 conferences together in Seoul. While there I spent time with a former PhD student (now friend) who now lives there, and we talked about who we had kept up with and what they’re up to now. Our conversation turned out to be not just about people, but also platforms. In other words, we needed to talk about not only where people are and what they’re doing, but what platforms we use to keep up with them. One person is only on Chinese social media. We can no longer find her, although we have a mutual connection who can. Others are only on Instagram or Facebook. The friend is no longer on Facebook and only lurks on Instagram, limiting what she sees. I understand that. I drift on and off platforms myself, more off than on because living in my present moment with my direct communication technologies is often about all I can handle. I have some feeds to follow professionally, but no energy to keep clicking on platforms and trying to beat the algorithm to find updates from particular people. More recently I’ve booted up What’s App while traveling a lot internationally, and have reconnected with some friends who seem to only communicate on there. To be honest, though, each time someone says “are you on (messenger? What’s App? Instagram DM? Line? Whatever?” I want to say “Can’t we just email or text?”
I’ve no idea where this post is heading. I’m overtired and overstimulated from a very busy week. I’m also very aware of how platform use by me and others has shaped how our relationships have evolved. Do you have similar experiences?
Jealous of your trip to Seoul! And hope you are recovering. Regarding your question, my experience (in my older age group) is that most of their social media posts are fluff ... in a good way. We post regarding birthdays, anniversaries and vacations but never post any of the "heavy" stuff. For example, I have a friend who recently recovered from a bout with cancer. It was very serious and grueling but she did not post anything about it. Similarly, I have friends who have gone through some seriously trying and difficult times but never post about them. I understand their need for privacy but it reminds me that we still need to check in with our people directly and never assume that no bad news means there is no bad news. For many of us, social media is a digital greeting card sent a certain times of the year ... not a diary of our inner thoughts and struggles.
ReplyDeleteI am really glad that you mentioned WhatsApp and emails. WhatsApp is all my older relatives in Slovakia are able to handle. Even so, it can still be challenging for my aging mother. But, I am thankful that she is willing to put up with it because it helps strengthen the relationship that she has with all her grandchildren in the US, Italy, UK, and Poland. Yes, we are an international family.
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